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Challenging the “Aloof Cat” Stereotype

red-haired girl teenager hugs kisses a purring Maine Coon cat, sitting on floor near window at home

To those that don’t know or love cats (although we don’t understand how that’s even possible tbh), these little creatures can be quite an enigma: often seen as aloof and uncaring towards their pet parents.

On the contrary, cats are quite affectionate. They have their own subtle ways of showing us they care—and sometimes it can be obvious. It depends on the cat and their unique personality and quirks!  Let’s debunk these unfair stereotypes and learn about the cute ways cats show us they do love us and form long-lasting bonds.

The Slow Blink: “I Love You and I Trust You”

Imagine sitting on the couch, and as you lock eyes with your feline friend, they blink slowly. It’s not an accident; it’s a trust exercise. The slow blink is your cat’s way of saying, “I love you and trust you completely.”

Research suggests that this sweet gesture releases oxytocin, the love hormone (aww), creating an emotional bridge between you and your cat. The next time your cat slowly blinks at you, do it back. Now you’re speaking their language!

Did My Cat Just Head-Butt Me?

Far from just a nuzzle, head-butting, known as bunting, is a unique form of feline communication. Just like dogs, cats rely heavily on their sense of scent. If you come home from a long day, they can smell where you’ve been and want to welcome you back into the fold bunting you.

Cats have scent glands above their eyes and below their ears that release pheromones. When they gently their little head against you, they’re marking you as part of their family, essentially saying “I want you to smell like me because we’re family.”

Not so aloof anymore, huh? It’s quite an honor to be head-butted by a cat.

This Cat Sounds Like a V8 Engine

A cat purr is one of my favorite sounds in the world. It’s soothing and relaxing, and I often fall asleep with a purring cat beside me. Besides the cat simply being content, purring serves as a healing mechanism. Really.

Studies suggest that the vibrations emitted during purring can promote healing in bones and tissues. A cat cuddling up and purring when you’re sad or sick provides comfort beyond words.

Cats Aren’t Really Solitary Creatures

Cats are social beings that actively seek human connection. They form strong bonds with their parents, seeking interaction and companionship. My own cat, Luna, hides whenever anyone visits the house. However, when it’s just me and my husband, she’s out and very confident. We are her people. Every morning, we have a routine where she sits by us while we have our coffee.

Cats don’t need to be in your face about their need for attention (although some cats may behave this way!).

Simply following you from room to room, sleeping at the end of your bed, or just being in your general area means they like you and want to be near you.

The Science Behind Cat Bonding and Affection

The scientific studies linked above do reveal that cats form secure attachments to their humans like the way dogs form bonds. Whether curling up together or getting down on their level to pet them or play, the oxytocin released during interactions creates a biological foundation.

Whenever I come home from a day out, I know my cats miss me. They wait at the door purring and bunting on my legs as soon as I walk in. It’s obvious we have a real bond, and they feel affection for me (even though it may be close to dinner time).

Cats Are Weird—With Unique Quirks and Traits That Make Them Special

Cats aren’t one-size-fits-all; they have a wide array of personality traits that can differ from other cats raised in the same home. From the playful and adventurous to the calm and reserved, every cat is a unique individual. Embracing this diversity enhances the joy of understanding and appreciating the endearing qualities that make them so special. Bonding is an individualized experience since no two fabulous felines are the same. And sometimes you need to work a little harder to gain their trust. But isn’t it worth it?

Cats Deserve to Be Celebrated for Their Uniqueness

Cats aren’t aloof—they’re complex creatures capable of deep love and connection in their own eccentric ways. The aloof stereotype isn’t just an endpoint; it’s an invitation to embark on a continual journey of discovery and endless surprises with our remarkable, faithful felines.


By Aimee Ellis

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