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How to Keep the Spark Alive When Your Cat Wants the Spotlight

Young couple lying in bed with blue-eyed cat. Handsome bearded man and attractive young woman together at home.

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room—or should I say, the feline in the boudoir. You love your cat. You adore your partner. But when the moon is high and the candles are lit, Mr. Whiskers decides it’s the perfect moment for a cuddle puddle. This, my friends, is the conundrum for many cat parents: how to maintain the romance when your cat has the boundary recognition of a (cute) piece of Velcro.

The Green-Eyed Kitty: Understanding Feline Jealousy

Cats, those miniature athletes draped in fur, can indeed experience something akin to jealousy. While they may not be scrolling through your phone or giving you the cold shoulder, cats have their own ways of showing they’re none too pleased with the attention you’re doling out elsewhere.

Why Do Cats Get Jealous?

At the heart of feline jealousy is the need for security and routine. Cats are creatures of habit, and they form strong bonds with their humans. Joey Lusvardi, renowned cat behaviorist and the owner of Class Act Cats told Reader’s Digest, “At the root, jealousy in cats is about their territory being threatened. They worry that they may be cut off from an important resource like cat food, a litter box, or even a human.”

Indeed, when their usual spot on the couch is compromised or their regular cuddle time is cut short, it can cause a bout of kitty envy. Your cat might see your affection as part of their domain, so when it’s monopolized by another, jealousy is bound to occur.

Now that we’ve dipped our toe beans into the mindset of your curious partner-in-crime, it’s time to dive into the clever, sometimes comical ways your cat may intrude on those intimate moments. From stealthy surveillance to expert-level bed-hogging, we’re navigating strategies to reclaim your love life while ensuring both partner and pet feel equally cherished.

Doors are Simply Suggestions

Your cat doesn’t care for doors. To them, a closed door is merely a challenge, not a boundary. They will meow, scratch, and throw themselves at it like little battering rams.

Before you consider soundproofing the house or installing cat-sized moats, try creating a cozy space for your cat in another room. A cat tree near a window, a puzzle feeder, or a timed toy can distract them long enough for you to steal some alone time.

The Jealous Type

Some cats have the mistaken notion that they’re the center of the universe. I mean, they’re probably right, but even pet parents need their space sometimes. When you’re paying attention to anything but them (yes, even your significant other), they get green with envy.

The key? Tire them out before date night. Engage in a rigorous play session with a laser pointer, feather wand, or groovy new catnip toy right before 1:1 time with your love.

With any luck, by the time you’re ready to snuggle up with your partner, your cat will be too busy visiting dreamland to care.

The Velcro Kitty

Ah, you’ve got a stage-five clinger on your hands. Not that it’s normally something to complain about; for the most part, you can’t get enough of those kitty cuddles. But when you’re in the mood for some alone time with your date or partner, it can be a little inconvenient to share the love with a precocious purring friend.

For a cat that’s keen to stick to your side, sometimes just being in the room is enough to squash any separation anxiety. Try setting up a cat tree, perch, or hammock so they have a designated nap spot that’s just far enough to have a little privacy.

The Bed Bandit

So, your cat has claimed your bed as their territory? It might be time to introduce them to the luxury of their own bed. Make it appealing—sprinkle some catnip, place it in a favored spot, and make it a routine to encourage them to sleep there at night. Consistency is key.

Signs Your Cat Is Feeling Left Out

Still attempting to decode the enigma that is your cat? Here are some telltale signs that your kitty might be feeling overlooked:

  • Attention Seeking: Your cat might suddenly become more vocal or active, doing everything short of setting off fireworks to get your attention back.
  • Shadowing: Like a specter, your cat follows you everywhere, ensuring that any interloper knows who your number one fan is.
  • Imitating: If your cat notices you’re giving attention to someone or something else, they might try to mimic the behavior to regain your focus.
  • Sabotage: Your cat may attempt to come between you and the object of your attention—literally. This could mean sitting on your lap when you try to cozy up with someone else or pouncing at inopportune moments.

When Jealousy Becomes a Bigger Problem

It’s all fun and games until someone’s feelings get hurt—or in this case, until the cat’s behavior changes. If your cat’s jealousy starts to impact their eating habits, litter box use, or leads to aggressive behavior with a date or someone in your household, it’s time to intervene.

If you attempt all the above suggestions and are still experiencing sabotage of the feline variety, reaching out to your vet or a behaviorist could be the best next step.

Harmonious Cohabitation

“Pet parent” is a title we take very seriously. Both our pets and the other people in our lives are important, and we owe it to all to make them feel respected and appreciated as best as we can. With thoughtful planning, you can savor your private moments—bypassing your cat’s attempts to steal the spotlight—and emerge recharged and ready for kitty cuddles.

Remember, when it comes to cats, sometimes out of sight means out of mind. Use that to your advantage, and may your romantic encounters be ever free from whiskered interruptions.


By Lizz Caputo

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